Who Can Do This?

In a very recent conversation, I told a friend that I rather not live a long life. Who can do this? The internal pressures get so overwhelming at times, it all seems hopeless. Everything is so futile and my desires are vain, my thoughts are so complex, my heart deceives me constantly, nothing is what it appears to be, everything is so complicated and tainted with sin, there is so much pain, the world is chaotic…its all madness! I found a little comfort in knowing that Im not alone. The creation is joining me in my groanings, crying the same thing, “Who can do this?”

My griefs increase day by day. I would not desire to offend the Lord in my complaints, murmuring, discontent, idolatry and so on, but I cannot cease to do so. Its my very nature. Working simultaneity, my inmost desire is to know God and be wholly perfect. I wish it were so. But sin seeks to reign. That roaring lion is prowling about with objective to sift me as wheat. My heart and my soul faints at the very small, dim glimpse of my sin. But I hear the beckoning calls of the Spirit to put off that heathen nature, and to put on that nature which is the very image of Christ. *sigh* Who can do this?

He knows and searches my heart, and finds all manner of dung, and yet calls me to be holy. And not only calling me to be holy, but calls me by the name of holiness. I am wretched because of this, and I cry out for deliverance. *sigh* Who can do this?

The constant striving. The toil. The fighting to take every wayward thought captive in order to obey Christ…its tiring. And at the very same time, I do adore Him. And I find comfort in His Word. In His promises. At the thought of Christ my God interceding for me before the Father. And the Father accepting me as His own, as the Spirit reveals these things to my soul. Such a weir paradox.

His ways are not like mine, for who ordains such providences? So bitter, so dark, so painful, so trying…just to work it out for my good and conform me to heaven’s eternal darling (as Spurgeon calls the Son of God). Who works like this? These are workings only God can work. If I would have it my way, the road to eternity would be smooth and straight and full of every vain desire my heart could imagine. But I do not. And the road to eternity is very narrow and goes through the sufferings, the sacrifice, the life, death, resurrection, ascension and atoning blood of Christ Jesus alone.

But let me complete my thought on His frustrating providences. It has made me cynical. Or better said, my sin has made me cynical. I hear the words of James, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” And so, there in lies the answer. Hidden in my heart is bitterness, selfishness, idolatry, anger because I want and do not have. And why has the Lord withheld so many petitions? Because “you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” So then now, I read every providence, that He says is good, through a faulty lens of, as my roommate says, “He’s just fattening me up for the kill.” What a horrid thought?! Oh, God, please deliver me from this body of death. I cannot do this.

Im only 24, and I feel like my soul is old and tired. Im such a fragile, pitiful creature. I know I have not suffered to the point of shedding blood, and many saints are carrying heavier crosses. And what is my cross, but many plans being brought to nothing by the Lord. The quirky personality wiring that makes me uncomfortable amongst people. The pains in my mind that tempt me to depression. The many losses and hard stories that make for an interesting testimony. And just the reality of having 2 natures constantly at war with each other. Compared to…my life seems sweet. And maybe it is. But, there is no felt sweetness in dealing with my sin and a hard heart. And so, I still stand on carrying with me an old, tired soul. *sigh* Who can do this?

With all the twisting paths of mine in the wilderness, the valleys of sorrow and humiliation, I can confidently say of my God that He leads me, His child, down the right path. And as I consider that, I am forced to lift up a song proclaiming His goodness to all generations. A song of greatful praise magnifying the loving-kindess of God.

Do you hear the double mindedness? My nature is at enmity with God. It is fallen. And so, I only hope in God’s free grace for renewal, and beg for entire submission. I look forward to His return and sweet rest. I am thankful to be found in Him ultimately…because…who can do this?

Who can do this apart from the Lord Jesus? Who can stand before the Lord without a mediator? Who can take on the sin at heart? Who can lock arms with the devil and resist His schemes? Who can resist luring and desirable temptations and the seemingly lovely appeals of the world? Who can live with failure and devastating circumstances? Who can do this without the Lord? What hope is there in life? What/who can fill the emptiness and hopelessness? When in despair, what motivation is there to keep going? How do you keep going? How do you deal with God’s providential dealings? His demands for holiness when there is nothing holy about sinful man? How do you become glad and where do you rest? Where do you hide from the face of God when He looks upon your sinful soul? How will you stand at the time of judgment? Who can do this?

No one can live without Christ Jesus’ love and His dear image on their hearts. Your soul must be washed and you mush be put on the path of complete obedience that leads to life eternal. Sin must be put away and everything contrary to the mind of God must be utterly taken away from you by Another. His eternal purpose must be fulfilled in you. So then, see the sinless Christ suffering on the cross for the sins of mankind enduring the wrath of God. Look at His beautiful Person, with eyes of faith, and never take them off of Him. See Christ buried in a tomb with your sins. And behold Christ triumphantly risen and made alive, conquering all sin, death and Satan. See Him at the right hand of the Father, inviting you to feast on His love and forgiveness and share in the eternal blessings of life in Him. Turn from what hinders you, and come to God. Hear this gospel, turn from your sins and place your faith in God alone, who can redeem mankind. Because, no one can do this.